This is my second week working with the kids and as expected, the language barrier is such a hindurance to me.  I guess it's due to my stubborness for not wanting to learn Spanish before I came.  

 I finally went to my first Spanish lesson yesterday, taught by this guy Gabriel, after missing it twice in a row.  He's very sweet, but because I'm so set in my ways, it was hard to learn.  I'm a visual learner and those who know me, knows how I write everything down, verbatim...because I learn better when I see it, hear it, and write it.  I guess I was a challenge for my teachers when I was younger.  Anyhow, it drives me crazy not to be able to write things on a board for the kids to see. 

There are some similarities between Spanish and French and that was how I was able to get by with some of my Spanish speakers in the States, plus having their classmates translating for me was very helpful as well.  Here, I have Kathy and Anielka.  Without the two of them with me I can't fully express my thoughts to the kids about their photos and the poor kids, they are trying their earnest to communicate with me and all I can do is look and show them. 
Colochan working on his photo.  This photo was found in Explore! Thanks to my flickr friends for your support!  He was so happy when we told him the good news today.

But underneath it all, I am so grateful for the kids and their desire to learn is contagious!  I felt terrible today for showing up to class late and when Kathy and I arrived at the office, there they were.  Quietly waiting for us.  They come to class ready and eager to learn and are so attentive. They hang on to every word we say and are so bright when it comes to discussions.  We always stay way past our time and that's typical of me when I teach my kids.  I want to make myself as accessible to them as I can and I hope that somehow we can work this schedule out so that they can come in for extra help if they so desire.  Scheduling is such a conflict because each of the two groups have school at different times of the day.  One starts from morning til noon, then the second noon, til 5:00.   

For the first time tonight I was out past 7:00 alone and of course, the lights went out throughout the city again. It’s quite frustrating. Two nights ago, I was out with Kathy to meet my favorite blogger, Steve, for some drinks. Towards the end of the evening, the lights went completely out and they don’t have a generator either. Even though we only lived 5 min. walk from the place, it’s not recommended that gringos should be walking in complete darkness. So we got home with a ride from our cab driver Segundo.

The following morning, I woke up to no running water. I was upset because I didn’t have a chance to shower the night before due to the fact that there’s no light in the house. I woke up drenched in sweat as usual (very sexy isn’t it?) and couldn’t shower!

To make matters worst, I’ve been doing my share of donating my blood to the mosquitoes of Nicaragua. My arms and legs have mosquito bites all over that from a distant, I look like a Seurat painting with red dots. My current body spray of choice as of late is “OFF.” I spray it on before going to bed, and before I leave the house. You go to bed with the confidence of knowing that you won’t wake up with more red dots on parts of your body. Great commercial idea for anyone who’s interested.

The wealtheier Nicas have no problem living here because  they have their water pumps and generators, but the poor continue to suffer because obviously they can’t afford to buy these luxury items.

I've been taking showers with candle lights in the bathroom and reading with my flashlights.  When there's no running water, I take a bucket baths:) Fun at first, but eventually, you just get tired of it.  I love candles lighting them at night, etc,  But when you live in a colonial style house with those high ceilings and barely there windows, light is crucial to your safety in the dark!  I sound like such a spoil brat, but hey, everyone's got their rights to complain right?  As I told Steve, when I return to the States, I'm going to scrub myself clean!!!  You can read what Steve wrote about life in Nicaragua in general here. 

I have no words to describe the sight that I saw yesterday morning by my house and later at the barrio yesterday. My heart hurts from the pain I felt for their despair and yet, I’m pretty sure that I’m more hurt than they are when we cast our eyes upon one another.

Yesterday morning I had to take the garbage out. It was only 5:30 and the garbage won’t be there until 6:00. So I stayed out to make sure the street dogs won’t get in the trash. I was just admiring the beautiful sky with streaks of gold and different hues of blue and how the sun is already warming the day with its heat. My neighbor across the street was caressing her cat, while her dog studied them. I went back into the house and got my camera and tripod to record the scene.

Then he came. This thin man, with his worn out clothing and leather-like skin that’s clinging to his boney arms and his bike with two plastic bags tied to them stopped by my pile of trash. I didn’t know what he was doing at first, so I smiled at him as he smiled back at me. He gently opened the first one and carefully close it back up because he didn’t find anything that the needed. I looked at him and looked away for fear of not wanting to embarrass him or disturb the site before my eyes. I noticed that my neighbor went inside her house as soon as she saw him. In a few seconds, I know he would be gone. I don’t know why I did what I did, but I left my camera on the tripod by itself and ran into the house and grabbed my snack bars that I left on the dining table and gave it to him as he was about to leave.

I went about my day as usual. After the photography class with the kids, I went into the barrio with Kathy, Anielka, and a guest (and I hope to be our potential donor). As Anielka studied the kids’ progress on their home works and test scores I was taking photos as usual. Everything was good until we stopped at our last house. It was a house I’ve seen many times, but never went in nor have seen anyone there. There was a hammock only a few feet away from a pig that’s twice my size tied to a tree in the midst of what looks like rubbles for a kitchen and a house. I remember wondering how can an animal that size and humans can live so close to one another.

The little girl was there. She had her younger sister, who must be about a year old strapped to a chair while she rocks her other sibling who was sleeping quietly in the hammock. At the same time she was shooing away the flies that were constantly covering the sleeping child’s face. The one that was strapped to the chair started crying, so she released the child and held her and swayed the hammock again. Then she put her to the chair again, this time started stirring whatever it was she was trying to cook on the stove.

I felt detached as I snapped away with my camera and I couldn’t put my camera down. I know that holding my camera to cover part of my face is a gesture of me protecting my own emotions that was consuming me as I watched her eyes, how those big, brown eyes sparkle with so much sadness and how she constantly bites her nails as she looks at my camera.

Kathy said, "she is 10 years old and is in 3rd grade.  She often can't attend school since only sometimes does her sister-in-law babysit.  Before EI she was not in school and had not been for a couple of years. She misses a lot of school due to her mothers work hours and lack of help from her brother or sister in law."

For the first time since I’ve been here, I woke up crying this morning as I reflect back on what I've witnessed.  I cried for the man and for the little girl.  No words or pictures can express my apathy for them and the conditions of their lives.  Just seeing the humility of the man as he opens the garbage bags reminded me of my parents and what we did to survive. How we would go through people’s trash cans looking for cans to recycle and would get shooed away like animals by the owners.

It’s not fair that there’s such a gap between the haves and have-nots and to know that there are more people living in worst conditions than the people I’ve seen here breaks my heart even more. I looked across the street from the house I’m currently staying at and could catch a glimpse of what my next door neighbor’s place look like. They are living in rubbles with dirt floors and boarded up windows while we have this nice, pristine place to live in.

I felt overwhelmed, but made peace with myself later because I know I can’t let my guilt eat at my soul. Even though I’m only working with a handful of kids, I’m doing my little part to help the community out. I realize that if I just sit on my couch in the comfort of my own home in the US and wishing that I can make a difference and hope that someone else will do what I can’t commit myself to do, then I’m not living, I’m only existing. What I give is not in monetary because I can’t afford to do that yet…but the gift I give to the kids comes from my heart and the smiles I get from the kids when they see their photos is my reward. That for me is priceless.

I've been in Granada for a week and three days as of today.  Life here is so different from life in the States.  It's so easy to lose track of time and to want to nap every waking hour.  Everyone here takes their time doing everything.  Unlike the cars, buses, and motorcylces, the people never seem to be in a rush to go anywhere.  An expression I've been hearing alot here is "Nica Time."  If it's Nica time then punctuality  is out of the picture.

The weather has been so much cooler the past three days than it has been when I first got here.  I guess they have been anticipating rain for quite some time now and it's been raining here and there, but never enough to cause any inconvenience to anyone's way of life because it's just little sprinkles.   When it does pour, I'm always inside here at Euro Cafe or at the house.  Here's a picture of Euro Cafe.  That guy in the white tee will be my Spanish instructor. 

 I love it when it rains here because at both places I can see the rain drops due to the fact that alot of homes here have an open courtyard in the center.  It gives this illusion of being one with nature, yet protected from it. 

The kids and the families of the barrio are always on my mind whether it's hot and humid or pouring rain.  Their living condition is so sad.  I wonder how their makeshift homes can protect them from the rain and how they fare as water starts pouring through their dirt floor.  Their homes are made from found scraps of wood to pieces of plastic bags. Kathy said alot  of volunteers come here with the desire to make a difference in the lives of the kids, but the volunteers were the ones that left here changed.  I believe it.  In just a few days of staying here I can't say that I am not moved by the harsh conditions that some of the people here lived, yet they continue to face life and it's harshness head on with such grace. 

When I first got here, Cathy took me out to have dinner at Tequila Vallarta.  There we met Amannuel (I'm not sure about the spelling of his name), a street kid, while he was selling gum and cigarettes to the everyone he runs into on the streets. I truly envy Cathy for having the ability to communicate with these kids because I don't and I want to.  He was so cute.  He said he's 12 years old and lied to Cathy that he's going to school.  I saw him last night while we were out having dinner again at Tequila Vallarta with Mathieu, guy from Montreal and a proud owner of a piece of land in San Juan Del Sur.  I just saw Amanuel with his two other buddies while I was coming in here to work.  We somehow were able to greet one another with my bad Spanish.  He asked me buy lunch for him and his buddies because they are hungry.  I told him to show me his money as he did and counted 12 cordebos.  I told him to give me his money and he reached into his pocket to get the money out for me.  I just laughed and told him I have no money.  Here's a photo of my new friend from last night. 

We had our orientation today with the kids in EI's office.  Out of 15 kids that were selected to do Digital Photography, only 10 showed up.  It was really fun for me and the kids said they had alot of fun as well.  Anielka said it was one of the best sessions they ever had because everyone was so attentive and participated with discussions. 

I taught them the basics on how to turn the camera on and off, as well as the basic parts of the camera and their functions.  That must've took about an hour.  After that, I had them take photos of each other and whatever they like in EI's courtyard.  They were so cute.  They laughed and giggled as they looked at their own work through the LCD screen.  For a group of kids that have never touched a camera, they are learning quite fast.  Towards the end of the two hour session, everyone knew (or so they claimed) to take photos, how to review their images, delete unwanted photos, zoom in/zoom out, how to turn their flash on/off and when they should use flash. 

I guess the challenge was trying to get my every words translated by either Kathy or Anielka.  Kathy knows her Spanish, but when you're not a native speaker, I guess that limits you.  Anielka, speaks her language fluently, but she's still learning English.  So between the three of us, we somehow manage to get the basic points across. 

The first real class will start next Tuesday.  We have two groups.  Group A and Group B.  Group A will shoot Tuesday and edit their photos Wednesday.  Group B will shoot Thursday and edit their photos Friday.  We will be spending an hour and  half each day with the kids.  If necessary, we might make the sessions longer, but because I know they have other responsibilities, I have to be sensitive about not monopolizing their time too much.  I am truly excited about this and can't wait to see their talents with the camera. 

This has nothing to do with our orientation, but I went to El Club today for lunch with Kathy.  It's an upscale restaurant/hotel and there's alot of tourists that were there.  I wanted to use the restroom, but was hesitant because there's no running water (water and electricity gets turned off and on throughout the day here).  But I went to their restroom anyways.  I can't believe how relieve I was when I flushed the toilet and it actually flushed!!!  The past 7 days since I've been here, I have yet to hear an actual flushing sound of a toilet!  Sigh...the things we take for granted!!!